Moving on

It's been months since I've moved on. I was just not in the mood to update the blog. But then again, I've just created a new blog, for fun?I mean to put up stuff that I think is entertaining, fun, intriguing, uh i don't know...my stress therapy?

My current interest is Seung Jo, Playful Kiss main character..And yes, I prefer Hyun Joong than Joe. Not that I don't like Joe Cheng, I just think that Hyun Joong is cuter..I wish someone like Seung Jo would come into my life. But come to think of it, someone like him might not be my soulmate, since I'm not as stupid as Ha Ni, and neither am I as smart as Hae Ra. I think I'm just an average plain Jane who is a little overweight. *sigh*

Positively, nobody is a plain Jane, cos everyone, be it male, or female is special in their own way. and will enchant those who look at them in a special way...

Al-Fatihah

Al-Fatihah buat sahabat tersayang, Siti Nurshilawati Abd Jalal yang telah kembali ke rahmatullah pada 2 Syawal yang lalu, jam 6.30 petang. Semoga Allah memberkatimu dan ditempatkan bersama-sama orang yang beriman.

Terkejut bila dapat berita tu pkl 1 pagi 3 Syawal yang lepas. Macam tak percaya, amik masa gak nak kne tau dia sakit pe..

Kalo nak ikutkan, masa aku mula2 kenal arwah takde la rapat pn, tapi bile form1, kelas sama, duduk pun bersebelahan. Masa tu kat depan kitorg Asari n Shah Erhan. Bile aku pindah, aku call Angah, dia kata Cikgu Trumay cakap sejak aku takde memang dah tak dengar suara Shila.
Ye la, aku ni kan kecoh..

Dia memang baik, sangat-sangat baik. Lama aku cari dia kat fb, last2 jumpa...tapi tak sempat nak catch up and all...Allah lebih menyayanginya...

Yes, walaupun aku jauh, aku pn terasa kehilangan dia..Apepun, aku bersyukur sbb berpeluang mengenali arwah. Sangat-sangat gembira dapat berkawan dengan dia, walaupun sekejap..

Semoga roh awak tenang di sana, Shila. dan kite berdoa agar kita dipertemukan di sana kelak..Your loss is felt deeply and you'll be badly missed by all of us..R.I.P.

Al-Fatihah

Raya

I wish i won't have to go visiting tomorrow..I just wanna stay home and rest. I really need it. Since I've been sleeping late during the weekdays and sometimes did not sleep at all during the weekend. Yes, it's my fault. But it ain't a crime to work extra hours, as long as it didn't disturb my daily working routine. It just made me feel tired, that's all.

I feel kinda sad that ramadhan is leaving so soon. May I have the chance to meet Ramadhan again next year..Ameen....

Banyak bende jadik dalam Ramadhan tahun ni. 2 tahun lepas dalam bulan Ramadhan aku sedih sangat...and skng pn masih lagi sedih.

Tapi aku harap Ramadhan kali ni jadi satu permulaan perjalanan baru dalam hidup aku. Murah sgt2 rezeki Ramadhan tahun ni.Alhamdulillah...bersyukur sangat2..

1. Ramadhan ni aku jadi entrepreneur kecil2an..hahahaah...it became something unexpected. Jual kek n biskut..mmm...penat..tak la byk sgt dapat, tapi bole la untuk cover belanja aku sebulan 2 ni kot..harap2nya...
2. Tahun ni aku dapat keje baru..Di organisasi yang sama, tapi different position and different place. Ini memang bende yang aku paling tak jangka. Sbb aku dah redha gile (tapi tak sedih) bile aku rasa tak dapat keje yang aku mintak tu. Tapi banyak la orang kat ofis pujuk...mmm...masa tu, aku cuma fikir aku mmg ditakdirkan untuk berada di Kuching dan bukan di tempat lain. Ade sebabnye aku berada kat sini. I need to be with moi family, yang aku rasa mmg itula sebab aku masih berada di tempat yang sama. Plus lega bila tak dapat keje tu sbb aku risau sape yang nak mengisahkan kuih2 order orang yang berlambak itu...takkanla akak aku sorang je nak wat, larat ke dia?? Sangat gembira, bersyukur n puas hati masa tu. Tapi berita yang aku terima pasal this new position buat aku rasa macam, ya Allah, masa aku dah tiba ke? Sampai sekarang aku rasa cam unsangkarable gile, walaupun aku dah berada di daerah lain nih (ulang alik everyday around 140km for the time being, sbb kne cari rumah n housemate, tak jumpa lagi). Nnt kalo aku rajin aku cite on the situation masa dapat tau keje nih..

Dua ni la major things yang happened(and still do) dalam life aku b4 and sepanjang Ramadhan ni...

Rezeki yang tuhan bagi ni mmg buat aku rasa sgt2 macam tak percaya..Aku tau rezeki yang tuhan bagi selama ni pn tak terhitung banyaknya...udara yang aku sedut, kesempurnaan anggota badan, cukup makan pakai..semua...ustazah kat tv tu ade cakap, kadang2 baru terdetik kat hati kita, tak sebut lagi, tapi tuhan dah bagi...tapi banyak mana kita perasan akan benda tu?Kita manusia selalu rasa tak cukup kan...aku pn slalu macam tu, tapi itu lah yang aku cuba ubah esp lepas dengar ceramah ustazah tu aritu...

Aku masih sedih bila ingat dia. Aku nak cari pengganti dia, tapi takde yang minat aku kan...So, biar je la life camni dulu kan...Aku cuma berharap dan berdoa semoga ape yang jadi dalam idup aku skang ni buat aku terus move forward dan boleh ubati luka kat hati aku ni.

One of mak punye dreams dah jadi kenyataan, which is pasal keje aku ni la...tapi yang slalu mak tanye tu, sori mak, bukan xmk, blum dapat lagik la mak...tunggu putera kayangan...

Flowers for Raya

yay~!at last, tercapai impian utk guna fresh roses for raya~yay!!!sbb white roses tak cukup, kene campur white+red..campur pn campur laaa....asal cantik...yay~!

selamat hari raya~

Destiny or Doom?

~ini adalah entry berani mati~

I don’t know if it was planned or it’s something that I hafta live through my whole life. It’s either giving me hopes or it’ll taunt me for the rest of my life. Destiny or doom?

The name of my boss’s newborn is Mohd Ashraf something. And I stupidly bought a book (can I call it stupid when I actually bought the book because I like the book? no!) with the main character’s name Ashraff and one character with the name Jay, and the girl’s brother, Along. I have nephews named Ashraf. Maybe my life only revolves along that name and that kind of character. What a life! Kalo camtu, jadik spinster la aku nihhhhh...adeiiiii!!!! Menyiksakan, menyakitkan dan memarahkan diri sendiri.

Urgh~! In my life Ashraf=Jay= Along=Kerbau is the same person. Yes, that one and only person. For those who knew my stupid love story since I was 10 would know who this person is.

Life has been better for me, I’m learning to be grateful, live happier, change to a better me (the hardest part) despite all the distractions, which is a test for us. Pdoz said the way I view life nowadays, and the way I think is difficult to realize. Maybe, but I think that’s the best for now. Perhaps it’s the best for all time. I mean, think about it, being grateful in everything. Good or bad. I mean, I you really think about it, it's not so hard. It's like a therapy for me.

But that one thing, I guess I haven’t been able to let go. Too much memory for that 3 short years. So each time I heard this name it still gives me impact. I do not know why the memories give such enormous impact. (Over la kan, enormous gitu. chewah! ;p)

As I was composing this entry I felt sad. I miss his presence in my life, I miss talking to him about everything, and I miss him. But I know this is something I have to endure. I shall not regret meeting him, for that I know meeting him was fate and there’s a reason for it to happen. I will feel what I felt then. Again. As to with who, I do not know. The future is vague. Lol.

Miss Jay should not worry, cos I’m not taking him away from her, and I have no intentions on doing so, believe me. Thanks to the power of egoistic and pride. The moment I knew that Miss Jay was with him, I’ve decided to never bother his life anymore, no matter how far his shadow is following me. I don’t tolerate with such thing. Not even with myself.

Perhaps he’ll come back or the shadow will leave eventually. I dare not think. Just go with the flow. As of now, I try to be the best me in every way I could. All the endurance will make me stronger mentally and emotionally for the future.

Mr. Future-bf, sile datang dengan cepat, and take this pain away. Aahahahaha.... *as though others could take the pain away from me. Silly*

This September I will celebrate my 2nd year of being single. Waaaa....macam anak dara tak laku je sbb single terlalu lama...ahahahah...

July 2010

uhh....Bulan yang menyesakkan....aku rase aku cam stress gile yang telah menyebabkan aku berbelanja secara berlebihan....uhmmm......ye ke terlebih stress?maybe...but on the other hand aku rasa sbb aku nye belanja ke atas barang2 unexpected...

tapi takpe...aku bersyukur dgn rezeki yang ade.... :)

tapi....wahai encik ujung bulan...sile datang dengan cepat ye....eheheheh

*sigh*

Dehydrated, demotivated...

tired, to the extend that if i am so sleepy i could kill anyone who gets on my nerve.

missing, someone who used to be part of me

hating, nobody, but will do if the person said anything unnecessary AGAIN

loving, mia familia, BFF

hoping, everything will be okay

wishing 1, the shattered pieces to be put back in place together, doesn't matter using what kind of stick or glue..

wishing 2, the one returns

waiting, phone call that'll make me happy, and change my life *sigh*

repressing, trying, but no, i can't do it on my own, need professional help...but no, let's just keep it there

wondering, when the time will come

listening, to the heart, to the brain

sleeping, damn i wish i could...

trying, killing the old me

changing, to a new, much more heartless *not impossible, just hard*

opening, the heart, wish i could though

closing, heart to suckers, idiots (maybe i am one of those people, can i close my heart to myself?)

being, you must be easy, right? *serves you right*

smiling, fake

wasting, time waiting

lying, to myself, to my heart

i'm done.

have you ever - s club 7

"Have You Ever"

Sometimes it's wrong to walk away, though you think it's over
Knowing there's so much more to say
Suddenly the moment's gone
And all your dreams are upside down
And you just wanna change the way the world goes round

Tell me, have you ever loved and lost somebody
Wished there was a chance to say I'm sorry
Can't you see, that's the way I feel about you and me, Baby
Have you ever felt your heart was breaking
Lookin down the road you should be taking
I should know, cos I loved and lost the day I let you go

Can't help but think that this is wrong, we should be together
Back in your arms where I belong
Now I've finally realised it was forever that I've found
I'd give it all to change the way the world goes round

Tell me, have you ever loved and lost somebody
Wished there was a chance to say I'm sorry
Can't you see, that's the way I feel about you and me, Baby
Have you ever felt your heart was breaking
Lookin down the road you should be taking
I should know, cos I loved and lost the day I let you go

I really wanna hear you say that you know just how it feels
To have it all and let it slip away, can't you see
Even though the moment's gone, I'm still holding on somehow
Wishing I could change the way the world goes round

Tell me, have you ever loved and lost somebody
Wished there was a chance to say I'm sorry (I'm sorry)
Can't you see, (ohhh) that's the way I feel about you and me, Baby
Have you ever felt your heart was breaking
Lookin down the road you should be taking
I should know, (I should know) cos I loved and lost the day I let
Yes I loved and lost the day I let
Yes I loved and lost the day I let you go

have you ever - brandy

"Have You Ever?"

[Chorus]
Have you ever loved somebody so much
It makes you cry
Have you ever needed something so bad
You can't sleep at night
Have you ever tried to find the words
But they don't come out right
Have you ever, have you ever

Have you ever been in love
Been in love so bad
You'd do anything to make them understand
Have you ever had someone steal your heart away
You'd give anything to make them feel the same
Have you ever searched for words to get you in their heart
But you don't know what to say
And you don't know where to start
[Chorus]

Have you ever found the one
You've dreamed of all of your life
You'd do just about anything to look into their eyes
Have you finally found the one you've given your heart to
Only to find that one won't give their heart to you
Have you ever closed your eyes and
Dreamed that they were there
And all you can do is wait for the day when they will care
[Chorus]

What do I gotta do to get you in my arms baby
What do I gotta say to get to your heart
To make you understand how I need you next to me
Gotta get you in my world
'Cuz baby I can't sleep
[Chorus]

Another Emotional Breakdown

Perhaps it's the time again where i'm being tested how strong i could be. I am facing an emotional breakdown once again, thanks to you for bringing the story up. This is the reason i prefer to keep it buried in my heart and choose to believe the person, even though i know it's all lies. Thank you so much!

I hate people meddling in this business, when he doesn't know not even half of the story. Why? Advice would be something inconvenience if one doesn't know the whole story. Maybe you think you are in the right place to give advice, but no. You are not someone to give advice now. Because you are not someone i'd like to talk to regarding this matter. Because to me you did nothing. And you're not someone i'd confide in.

You don't even know the truth. The hurt, the pain. What we've been through. The emotional breakdown that we've been through. And for who do you think we've been able to be this strong?

Am I not being grateful? Perhaps to you no. But you'll never knw what's inside my heart. Trust me, you don't.

With this, I officially confess that I miss bubub. He was the closest one to me. Doesn't always understand me but always there for me. Feels like i've no one to share things with.

But he's not here with me. Maybe he's not what i need for now. Perhaps God wants me to learn to endure things on my own. Maybe that's how I'll live for the rest of my life. Not to rely on others but myself. The way I've been doing it since i was a child. It's time to do the same thing over and over again.

Please be strong, dear me...

memories are to be reminisce and cherish~

this entry is for ifa~



we've known each other since 03.11.2008. The darkest yet one of the most important year of our lives.

*sigh*

try...try...and try....it lasted for a few days...but series of unwanted events happened since the morning...tried to be happy, and quiet during the unwanted moments...but it didn't last long when an idiot called...epople has'nt seen me go extremely all out with my tantrums...it's real ugly...but well i'm trying not to, cos it made me feel tired...besides, i'll die earlier than i'm suppose to due to heart attack if i do it too often...which is why i'm trying to control it..*it's hard though esp when you hafta communicate with idiots who get on you nerves*

hmmm...felt better...thank you...

what a day~

Yes, this entry was suppose to be dedicated to a friend who'll be going to other district. She was offered a permanent position in there. She and another boy in the office.

Tapi, biarlah meroyan sikit kat sini...hahaha...It was funny tapi agak menekankan jiwa..peristiwa tukar tayar kete. I don't wanna say much about that experience, since aku dgn budak2 yang ikut aku (dengan harapan dorg membantu aku buat keputusan yang terbaik) semuanya hampehhh...Aku ingat dorg tau pasal tayar menayar nih, rupenye tak tau...adesssss......

Tapi takpelah, let this be a lesson for me. Bersyukur sbb at least dorg nak gak teman kan....Bersyukur juga sbb ini adalah pengalaman..tau yang kedai tu tak sepatutnye jadi destinasi selepas ini sekiranya ada perkara serupa yang jadi kat kete tu...hahahahah...

Sesungguhnya aku kne blajar bersyukur untuk tenang dan bahagia....Sbb pada aku, kebahagiaan dan ketenangan itu datang daripada rasa syukur pada apa yang Allah dah bagi....Terlalu banyak nikmat...aku selalu lupa.....Belajarlah huda.....Berubahlah....

Insya Allah~

Emotionless, maybe not

I still do have emotions...Sadness, anger...are the main emotions right now...

The frustration is much more than i thought i'd endure..Never thought that thingss would be this hard, gone this far. It involves everything that i have.

how much more that people i love would have to endure to achieve the tranquility that the loved ones dreamt of?

Easier said than done. That is why i wish i could shut myself out from those people, which is impossible, because of the loved ones...Those people, they didn't help much, yet say so much, resulting in much more hurt, and damage than its already done. Not putting us back together, but making even more mess, crashing us down into pieces.

I wonder if the pieces can be put together nicely, just like before. Not perfectly (impossible), but just nicely to made up for all the damages that was done..

The second one...

so this is the second one....*sigh*

it's called summer rain. as to why i chose this template...mmm....

i guess the name, summer rain...and the background picture...rain....on summer....there'd be rainbow, right?

i've always love rainbow. but yesterday, i thought..maybe i wanna be a rainbow..beautiful rainbow, makes people feel happy just by watching it. it's something that i feel when i see the rainbow that i can't explain..

the ME that i know right now has changed, into a ice cold heartless person. i didn't realize it until my nephew told me so. or have i been heartless that i never realized it?

new template...

i changed it today....i love the old template, but i think i need to change it, cos i've been using it for years...ahahah...cam lama sangat je...

this new look..i like it, but somehow i just don't feel that the design fits/represents me...

maybe i'll change it...later?tomorrow?next week?next year?

I'm ready...

I guess i'm ready fall in love again..

yes, good thing, i must say...

but first i have to find my future bf. how am i gonna fall in love again if the person hasn't come around?...

yes, saya memang lame, not pretty and boring...and tiada peminat...that's the truth...

Updating

Geez, I've no idea on what to update here...since i've been so caught up in my problematic world and not to say focusing, but rather throwing tantrums in my other blog.

yes,my life has been more pathetic than it had always been. but it hasn't stop me from going out with friends. well, it took us almost an hour to decide where to eat..lol! why are girls so indecisive when it comes to having dinner with friends? that includes me, of course..

uhh...tghr yang sungguh memengantukkan....ahahaha...kenapa lunch break perlu jadi masa utk tdo?

Sgt Tertekan

Hmphhh!!!!!!!!Argh!!!!
Sangat2 stress bile hard disk itu rosak. Content di dalamnya amat penting untuk aku.

Walaupun most of the things aku tak pedulik pn ape isi dia, tapi mmg penting bagi aku..

Sangat² sedih...kerana dia penting, hard disk itu penting...Sangat tertekan dan menekankan.... :'(

Sampai bos aku cakap, aku cam kena sabotaj je. Sbb dlu thumbdrive aku ilang, and then suddenly ade balik. Pastu surat dari jabatan lain ilang, sampai skang ni tgh risau cari. Tak habis ngan tu, hard disk aku rosak. Ade gak barang lain yang ilang..

Dahla skang banyak gile masalah...yang aku tak masuk campur pn orang sengaja libatkan aku. Yang aku tak bersalah pn orang salahkan aku...Masalah dengan diri sendiri lagi, melawan perasaan, melawan otak...Ape nak jadi ngan aku ni?

Takpela Huda, mungkin masanya membuang memori even though u cherish it so much...Redha Huda, redha...percaya dengan ketentuanNya. percaya semua yang jadi dengan izinNya...Bergembiralah! Percayalah kebahagiaan sebenar akan datang dariNya... :')

p/s : dear orang jahat, if u read this, u know who u are. I am stronger than u. There's nothing u can do to tear me down. U cannot hurt me physically or mentally. antalah bape banyak antu pn, Dia lebih berkuasa. ok!!! :)

Labuan Matriculation College(KML) 2002/03 (part 1, maybe)

Title tu macam nostalgic je bunyi nye kan...memories for friends kat KML..

Anyway, masa ke Labuan dlu, my batch was the fifth batch in KML, but the first to stay in the newly ready college. B4 tu klej tak siap lagi, n dgrnye seniors stay kat UMS kampus Labuan. Kampus UMS dengarnya mmg lawa, kat tepi pantai, tapi I’ve never been there. Sbg budak baik, yang aku tau pegi outing kat UK, Labuan Supermarket, etc pastu balik...itu je la life aku, takde nye nak explore2.. Kecuali the time aku ke Dataran Labuan ikut Kak Olianah n family tgk Hari Wilayah, and time jalan2 ngan dia n anak n adik dia.

Dulu, klas2 di KML mula jam 7 pagi n ends at 4/5pm. However, klas2 petang kadang²abis awal. Bile abis awal mulela melepak kat kafe B dgn kawan². Rehat slalunye pkl 8/9/10am n 12/1pm. Kalo tak silap la...correct me if I’m wrong... ;p

As I mentioned earlier, life aku kat matrik dlu sgt ordinary n bosan. Macam buku cite Shin chan ‘Kisah Si Biasa dalam Pengembaraan yang Biasa’. Hahaha.. Ade la a few occassions yang memberi warna pada life aku masa tu.

We were divided into 2 streams, the life science and the physical stream. Dalam hayat n fizikal dibahagi kepada few classes yang besar, kuliah. Dan dalam kuliah lak ada kumpulan2 kecil, tutorial. As for my class, aku budak Hayat 2 Tutorial 14 (H2T14). And every tutorial ni guided by mentors.

Masa tu rapat dengan Suri, Azizi, Dayang, krol, Raop, Nana, Intan, Awie, n the rest of the class la...eheheh... Sinah lak aku tak rapat sgt masa tu, dia ni asal kuliah lain, n masuk klas kitorg pn tak lama...Mentor masa tu Ms Halina, rasanya, pas dia ikut hubby dia ke Catagena, Spain kitorg takde mentor lg kot... everyone loves her..and still do. J

Most of the days after klas Krol temankan aku makan. Kesian member, dah kenyang pn terpaksa temankan aku makan. Thanks K, sbb rajin melayan kerenah kamek yang tahpapa...ahahah...he’s a very good friend. Seronok berkawan dgn dia.

Selalunya, kuliah n tutorial pagi, petang lak utk lab n tutorials. Kesian lecturers aku, sbb aku ni agak lembab..uhuhuhu...Tapi syukurlah, aku lulus kan...Sbnrnye, bukan lembab, bitamin M terlebih...

Yang seronoknya bila buat experiment Kimia n Biologi. Tak ingat la sama meja ngan sape...Tapi paling seronok of course la Biologi(pada aku la). Dlu zaman hp blum ada camera, so takleh nak snap pics of tikus yang kitorg bedah. The whole class pn bau formalin. Form 5 bedah katak, matrik bedah tikus. Semua pn berebut nak bedah tikus. Ahahah...Kesian Cik Ti yang tidak berdosa dan comel itu...Aku rasa la, masa tu bedah tikus tu sbnrnya lebih kepada untuk keseronokan berbanding nak blaja..ahahahah...

Satu lagi eksperimen seronok, kira kepekatan darah(eh, yeke?). Tak ingat sangat la...Tapi yang pastinya hati ayam tu dihancurkan dengan menggunakan rod kaca di dalam tabung uji. Ade gak member yang cam nak muntah, tapi tak ingat sape.

Tapi satu experimen paling hampeh yang kitorg buat yang aku takkan lupa. Kira butir jagung, untuk experiment genetik, hybrid. Semua kitorg kira, tapi takde sorang pn dalam grup kitorg dapat jumlah butir yang betul, sbb calculation semua cam salah je..ahahahha...penat tul kira butir jagung mstu, itu ler yang aku minat pasal mendel nye genetic hybrid theory..ahahahah...Bosan de, klaka pn ade gak mstu...

Dalam kuliah, Mel duduk seblah aku memula. Then Awie lak...Bile boring dalam kuliah, ngantuk yang amat tapi takleh tdo, kitorg borak la...blaja bahasa Mandarin, cite pasal f4, david tao, Meteor Garden, Jay Chou, etc dari Awie. Awie yang ebrtanggungjawab buat aku gile artis2 taiwan nih,...hahahah... Awie ni kuat tdo. Kalo rehat 10 minit pn dia boleh tdo.haha.. Malam2 kalo aku bosan aku akan ke bilik Awie, lepak ngan dia n Al...Dorg slumber jek, tapi pandai..Skang ni rasanya dua2 tgh wat housemanship, kat ne aku tak tau. Al amik medic kat USM, Awie lak kat Uni Padjajaran, Bandung. Lama dah tak chat ngan Awie..Rindu kat dia..

Yi Miao De An Wei - Huang Yida

闭上眼就看见你的侧脸 这感觉像你还靠在我肩 沿着你眉间轻抚忧郁的眼 让失眠的我守在你的梦里面 想听见你的呼吸在耳边 这音乐能平静我的一切 明天再遥远不过是训练 训练多疼你一点 一秒的安慰 是我想你的滋味 微甜的滋味 让我能去面对 欠你的安慰 尽管你从不曾说累 你寂寞的眼我发现 对你总不够体贴 一秒的安慰 是那思念的滋味 微甜的滋味 给你力气面对 温柔的安慰 让它流入你的心扉 给我机会去体会 生命里有你多美 想听见你说的任何字眼 会温暖这颗心忘了疲倦 再多的考验不过是训练 训练更多的了解

Closing my eyes, I saw your side face The feeling is like you still leaning on my shoulder Following between your eye brow, lightly caresses the sad eyes Allow me (which can't sleep) stay in your dreams I want to hear your breathing beside my ear This sound is able calm all of me No matter how far tomorrow is, it's just a training Train to love you more a bit A moment of Consolation Is the taste of missing you The slightly sweet taste Allow me to face Consolation that I owed you Even if you never say tired I somehow discovered your lonely eyes There's always lack of care for you A moment of consolation Is the taste of missing Slightly sweet taste Provide you strength to face The gentle consolation Allow it to flow into your heart Giving the chance to feel How beautiful life is, by having you. I want to hear whatever you say As it will warm my heart and forget all the tiredness Even more test but it's just a training Train to know each other more and more

This is one of my favourite song. Listening to this song somehow made me a feel calm, relieved.
I don't read Chinese, neither do I speak Chinese..I only understand just a wee bit of Chinese, through friends, dramas and songs.

Typical me

The typical me...When I've reached my limits, I'll become somene who couldn't care less anymore..

I've reached my limits for so many things lately, and this adds up to another one.

I don't care of anything anymore. For whatever reason that matters. It's the typical you, doing the same thing over and over again. I know.

Typical me, typical you. Nuff said.

Tahu...

Aku mmg dah lama tau...tapi tak sangka sehebat ni...aku rasa kecewa...terpulanglah...apa yang dia buat pn takkan buat aku percaya lagi... :) aku yang dipersalahkan, and yet ade sebab lain...bagusla...

atas nama persahabatan, kita lalui bersama.terima kasih kerana tidak berterus terang. ia membuat aku rasa tertipu sahabat.... :)

Sibu trip

4 days in Sibu. Well, not exactly 4 days, considering we travel to Sibu on Friday morning at 8.30, reached Sibu at 3.pm, and travelled back to Kuching yesterday morning at 9am, reached Kuching at 5pm.

We went to Sibu for the '**** bersama Rakyat' program. and we're out promoting the organization and it's components. And also to help the election campaign.

Sibu trip was fun, although there's so many flaws in our program. But on the bright side, there's so many things that we could learn from our mistakes. Like Edison said when he was experimenting his invention on the light bulb, 77 failures mean 77 mistakes that we shouldn't be doing anymore. I hope everyone feels the same and not blaming each other. Just let the bygone be the bygone.

Unfortunately, I didn't have enough time to buy the NBC shirt. Cheap² NBC shirt. uhuhu...

Memories were also made, happy, sad, etc. Hope to meet friends in Sibu again. :)

Personally, I think this trip is a stress reliever for me. Which selfishly of me, I didn't think much of the problems in Kuching, until yesterday, when I was on my way back to Kuching. And then I know things has gotten worse at some point (well actually, it hasn't got worse, cos it's bad enough as it is(real bad)), when my family told me what happened during the weekend. I wish for them to leave all of us alone and just get on with their own lives.

4 tiring days. I couldn't really feel it until I reached Kuching and woke up this morning. I was feeling very tired this morning, had nasi kerabu+iced nescafe for breakfast, feeling extremely sleepy later on, slept while waiting for Ifa in the clinic for asthma treatment.And now it's lunch time, the time where sleeping is legal during office hours but I DON'T FEEL SLEEPY AT ALL anymore..Dear eyes, this is so unfair. It'll be fair if and only if u keep it up for the next 3.5 hours.

This is the only place i can shit without people knowing who i'm shiiting about

The title's long and the entry's short. I know. I know.

I am seriously in a very terrible mood right now. Shit happened. Now I'm involved. And I know that they're talking shit behind my back. Whatever.

Dear human, please don't bled and have one ear deaf and rotten just because you've heard only one side of the story. You should hear from both sides.

DON'T.BE.STUPID.

The Jerry-sick 1

Seriously, saya sangat mabuk Jerry sekarang.ehehehehheheh...
Dulu saya tidak gila Jerry, dulu suka vic(huazelei), tapi mmg suka ken. Tapi saya belum gila sangat masa tu. Saya obses?maybe. haha. But I like this feeling. It makes me feel happy. Kak Eda was right, this is our therapy.

At least I know for sure that I'll never marry that guy. then having the thought of my dream to get married with the one I love shattered into pieces.

Brings me back to the years, full of dreams. Happy, nothing much to worry. Friendship, puppy love.

BAck then we only focused(me and most of my friends) on studying. Leaving school and then matriculation/form 6 and straight to university. Or from diploma to degree. Made it sound easy, huh? It was. We didn't think much on working after finishing our high school. All we had to worry was whether we choose form 6, matriculation, cert, diploma or straight to our degree. Which I think got me carried away.

I think i took most of the time for granted. I wasn't a hardworking student(i didn't really spend a lot of my time studying). I'd say I prefer projects and assignments, although sometimes the outcome wasn't as good as it should be in the first place, due to the last minute ideas that popped out of our brain.

Those were the good old days and that each and everyone of us greatly miss.

Jerry Yan-sick!ahahaha

I am so Jerry Yan-sick..ahahahah...saya mau kawen dengan dia, boleh ka?ahahahahahahah...

Watching Down with Love makes me watch meteor garden and I am so in love with him...ahahaha...

Rindu pada zaman-zaman matrik dulu. Betapa ada member yang sanggup curi2 tengok tv di bilik tv semata-mata untuk tengok tv. I remember my roommate, pukul 1 pagi tgk tv, sorg-sorg..on her birthday..tengok cite jack and jill ke ape, tah, tak ingat cite tu...

aku ngan lagi sorang member, pinjam cdplayer roommate member tu untuk tgk Meteor Garden, we slept like very late and when we woke up we just continued watching that drama. How we were so head over heels over that drama. Siap bli jigsaw puzzle of the F4, and berebut nak yang lawa.

Petang2 tunggu cite mis tres hermanas, yoh soy betty la fea, pkl 4.30 ptg. mis tres hermanas, cite pasal 3 orang beradik perempuan dan sorang abangnye.abangnye kawen dgn the evil margarita. yang aku paling ingat watak lisa ngan beba@beatrice. most people suka lisa and beba.but i can't even remember the hero's name.uhuhuh...

yoh soy betty la fea, the ugly betty..cite pasal betty yang hodoh yang mula2 dipergunakan oleh armada ke armani?*uhuhuhuhu, tak ingat*, tapi last2 dia jadi cantik dan the hero btul2 suka kat dia.skang ni ugly betty da jadi drama bersiri kat US, with american carera*tak ingat nama dia, yang berlakon the sisterhood of the travelling pants itu*.

awal2 lagi dah book tempat kat bilik tv. and that's the peak hours kat bilik tv. even makcik guard pn tgk kat blok kitorg.pkl 5 ramai beredar, tapi aku akan ke bilik tv pkl 6.30 utk tengok Meteor Garden.tak sudah-sudah...dah tgk pn nak tengok lagi kat bilik tv...tapi aku jarang gak la tgk telenovela spanyol, venezuela sume tu. minat aku pada cite2 ni ade gak, tapi macam kurang..tapi kalau Meteor Garden tu an exception la...ehehehehehheheheheh..