losing to yourself

the moment you try to wake up, being the new you, not because you like it, but because you know that it's the best for you, it's the moment that things will not go as you planned it to. blaming it on you-don't-know-what...trying hard to survive but in the end you failed.

but deep down you know why you failed. the hardness was an endurance test. whether you really deserve the change or not. agree?disagree?

they say it's okay to lose. but you know that you're a loser when you lose the most to yourself. Yeah, yeah! old habits die hard. but it's the YOU that made it hard..

Demotivated

Adalah merasa sangat2 demotivated sekarang. macam2 kawan2 aku cakap utk tlg aku, bg nasihat. time kasih kawan2...

tp, skang ni nak nangis pn takbleh dah...sangat2 sedih tapi sangat2 takleh nak nangis...ini suda gile demotivated. ujung tahun lepas, kne marah pn masih boleh nangis...but not this time...macam at wits end. sinah kata, kalo dah takleh nak nangis tu maknanya mmg takleh nak tanggung lagi, bende tu terlalu berat..

takdela berat sngat, cuma aku tak suke sgt2...gile2 tak ske. n gile2 demotivated. n is resulting to hatred...waaaa.....sangat rebel skang....