This is me

I am mentally and emotionally disturbed right now. I am bitter. My words are like punches that hits you right in the nose. No words can save me. Just give me time to heal myself. Nobody can help me. Only me. And GOD.
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Menyesal

Ada rasa menyesal dalam hati aku sebab datang. :)



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On the BMT

I went to the BMT, organized by Human Resource Dept and Asian Institute of Management (AIM) Manila in KL from 9th to 13th April (today!).

It was a worthwhile experience. We had lecturers flying all the way from the Phillipines, Prof Frederico Gonzales, Prof Marvin Meduya and Prof Gulliver Go (he was also the Program Director). Wonderful professors! I am most grateful to them. You see, I have no background in Business, Finance, Accounting (well I did it when I was in lower form..basic accounting, that is...) But this course is a new beginning to me, to learn all those thing, learning to like all those field that never I imagined I'd be involved with, which is my field of work now. It's kinda an eye opener to me. They have this thick Phillipines accent, which made things hard for others (I think), but I'm kinda used to it, since I had Madagascar and French lecturer last time.

Prof Gulliver aka Gully was the most popular among everyone. Most girls (even moms!!) had crush on him (including me!)! hahahahaha!! He's the youngest, and he's cute. He's 41, he have 4 kids, the eldest is 19, the youngest is 1. But obviously he doesn't look 41.

Well, a crush is a crush and will be forgotten over time.

Having an eye candy during a difficult course has its own perk. But the most important thing was the experience, knowledge gained during those times. I hope to learn more about business plan in the future. Of course I'm not good with numbers and all but there must be something that I'm good at which I can do to help others.
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in that circle again

"Have You Ever" by S Club 7


Sometimes it's wrong to walk away, though you think it's over
Knowing there's so much more to say
Suddenly the moment's gone
And all your dreams are upside down
And you just wanna change the way the world goes round

Tell me, have you ever loved and lost somebody
Wished there was a chance to say I'm sorry
Can't you see, that's the way I feel about you and me, Baby
Have you ever felt your heart was breaking
Lookin down the road you should be taking
I should know, cos I loved and lost the day I let you go

Can't help but think that this is wrong, we should be together
Back in your arms where I belong
Now I've finally realised it was forever that I've found
I'd give it all to change the way the world goes round

Tell me, have you ever loved and lost somebody
Wished there was a chance to say I'm sorry
Can't you see, that's the way I feel about you and me, Baby
Have you ever felt your heart was breaking
Lookin down the road you should be taking
I should know, cos I loved and lost the day I let you go

I really wanna hear you say that you know just how it feels
To have it all and let it slip away, can't you see
Even though the moment's gone, I'm still holding on somehow
Wishing I could change the way the world goes round

Tell me, have you ever loved and lost somebody
Wished there was a chance to say I'm sorry (I'm sorry)
Can't you see, (ohhh) that's the way I feel about you and me, Baby
Have you ever felt your heart was breaking
Lookin down the road you should be taking
I should know, (I should know) cos I loved and lost the day I let
Yes I loved and lost the day I let
Yes I loved and lost the day I let you go

In love or not in love, happy or having a heartbreaking moment, i still love this song. Somehow.

Moved on, maybe. It took me quite some time to recover this time, but Alhamdulillah, i think i'm okay now. perhaps.

And there's this someone i admire. But i feel so invisible. Never really talked to that person, but somehow i like him. Maybe he's taken, that'll break my heart of course, but i'll move on..So i'm kinda in this love-hate relationship with myself actually for having this feeling. To like someone, is something good, i love this feeling. But i hate the agony of just being able to look at that someone from afar. it hurts. but nonetheless, at least i moved on.