*sigh*

Dehydrated, demotivated...

tired, to the extend that if i am so sleepy i could kill anyone who gets on my nerve.

missing, someone who used to be part of me

hating, nobody, but will do if the person said anything unnecessary AGAIN

loving, mia familia, BFF

hoping, everything will be okay

wishing 1, the shattered pieces to be put back in place together, doesn't matter using what kind of stick or glue..

wishing 2, the one returns

waiting, phone call that'll make me happy, and change my life *sigh*

repressing, trying, but no, i can't do it on my own, need professional help...but no, let's just keep it there

wondering, when the time will come

listening, to the heart, to the brain

sleeping, damn i wish i could...

trying, killing the old me

changing, to a new, much more heartless *not impossible, just hard*

opening, the heart, wish i could though

closing, heart to suckers, idiots (maybe i am one of those people, can i close my heart to myself?)

being, you must be easy, right? *serves you right*

smiling, fake

wasting, time waiting

lying, to myself, to my heart

i'm done.

have you ever - s club 7

"Have You Ever"

Sometimes it's wrong to walk away, though you think it's over
Knowing there's so much more to say
Suddenly the moment's gone
And all your dreams are upside down
And you just wanna change the way the world goes round

Tell me, have you ever loved and lost somebody
Wished there was a chance to say I'm sorry
Can't you see, that's the way I feel about you and me, Baby
Have you ever felt your heart was breaking
Lookin down the road you should be taking
I should know, cos I loved and lost the day I let you go

Can't help but think that this is wrong, we should be together
Back in your arms where I belong
Now I've finally realised it was forever that I've found
I'd give it all to change the way the world goes round

Tell me, have you ever loved and lost somebody
Wished there was a chance to say I'm sorry
Can't you see, that's the way I feel about you and me, Baby
Have you ever felt your heart was breaking
Lookin down the road you should be taking
I should know, cos I loved and lost the day I let you go

I really wanna hear you say that you know just how it feels
To have it all and let it slip away, can't you see
Even though the moment's gone, I'm still holding on somehow
Wishing I could change the way the world goes round

Tell me, have you ever loved and lost somebody
Wished there was a chance to say I'm sorry (I'm sorry)
Can't you see, (ohhh) that's the way I feel about you and me, Baby
Have you ever felt your heart was breaking
Lookin down the road you should be taking
I should know, (I should know) cos I loved and lost the day I let
Yes I loved and lost the day I let
Yes I loved and lost the day I let you go

have you ever - brandy

"Have You Ever?"

[Chorus]
Have you ever loved somebody so much
It makes you cry
Have you ever needed something so bad
You can't sleep at night
Have you ever tried to find the words
But they don't come out right
Have you ever, have you ever

Have you ever been in love
Been in love so bad
You'd do anything to make them understand
Have you ever had someone steal your heart away
You'd give anything to make them feel the same
Have you ever searched for words to get you in their heart
But you don't know what to say
And you don't know where to start
[Chorus]

Have you ever found the one
You've dreamed of all of your life
You'd do just about anything to look into their eyes
Have you finally found the one you've given your heart to
Only to find that one won't give their heart to you
Have you ever closed your eyes and
Dreamed that they were there
And all you can do is wait for the day when they will care
[Chorus]

What do I gotta do to get you in my arms baby
What do I gotta say to get to your heart
To make you understand how I need you next to me
Gotta get you in my world
'Cuz baby I can't sleep
[Chorus]

Another Emotional Breakdown

Perhaps it's the time again where i'm being tested how strong i could be. I am facing an emotional breakdown once again, thanks to you for bringing the story up. This is the reason i prefer to keep it buried in my heart and choose to believe the person, even though i know it's all lies. Thank you so much!

I hate people meddling in this business, when he doesn't know not even half of the story. Why? Advice would be something inconvenience if one doesn't know the whole story. Maybe you think you are in the right place to give advice, but no. You are not someone to give advice now. Because you are not someone i'd like to talk to regarding this matter. Because to me you did nothing. And you're not someone i'd confide in.

You don't even know the truth. The hurt, the pain. What we've been through. The emotional breakdown that we've been through. And for who do you think we've been able to be this strong?

Am I not being grateful? Perhaps to you no. But you'll never knw what's inside my heart. Trust me, you don't.

With this, I officially confess that I miss bubub. He was the closest one to me. Doesn't always understand me but always there for me. Feels like i've no one to share things with.

But he's not here with me. Maybe he's not what i need for now. Perhaps God wants me to learn to endure things on my own. Maybe that's how I'll live for the rest of my life. Not to rely on others but myself. The way I've been doing it since i was a child. It's time to do the same thing over and over again.

Please be strong, dear me...

memories are to be reminisce and cherish~

this entry is for ifa~



we've known each other since 03.11.2008. The darkest yet one of the most important year of our lives.

*sigh*

try...try...and try....it lasted for a few days...but series of unwanted events happened since the morning...tried to be happy, and quiet during the unwanted moments...but it didn't last long when an idiot called...epople has'nt seen me go extremely all out with my tantrums...it's real ugly...but well i'm trying not to, cos it made me feel tired...besides, i'll die earlier than i'm suppose to due to heart attack if i do it too often...which is why i'm trying to control it..*it's hard though esp when you hafta communicate with idiots who get on you nerves*

hmmm...felt better...thank you...

what a day~

Yes, this entry was suppose to be dedicated to a friend who'll be going to other district. She was offered a permanent position in there. She and another boy in the office.

Tapi, biarlah meroyan sikit kat sini...hahaha...It was funny tapi agak menekankan jiwa..peristiwa tukar tayar kete. I don't wanna say much about that experience, since aku dgn budak2 yang ikut aku (dengan harapan dorg membantu aku buat keputusan yang terbaik) semuanya hampehhh...Aku ingat dorg tau pasal tayar menayar nih, rupenye tak tau...adesssss......

Tapi takpelah, let this be a lesson for me. Bersyukur sbb at least dorg nak gak teman kan....Bersyukur juga sbb ini adalah pengalaman..tau yang kedai tu tak sepatutnye jadi destinasi selepas ini sekiranya ada perkara serupa yang jadi kat kete tu...hahahahah...

Sesungguhnya aku kne blajar bersyukur untuk tenang dan bahagia....Sbb pada aku, kebahagiaan dan ketenangan itu datang daripada rasa syukur pada apa yang Allah dah bagi....Terlalu banyak nikmat...aku selalu lupa.....Belajarlah huda.....Berubahlah....

Insya Allah~