Day 1 without Voice

It started of as a mild cough when I was in KL next morning after I had my brother's vit.C. And then I started to feel as though I'm gonna be attacked by an asthma. Yesterday I had a feeling that I'm gonna be out of voice today.

And yes, my prediction was right. Well, I'm not actually an asthma patient anymore, kinda healed when I was 7 when I had to drink this weird tasted drink and there's this one thing that I couldn't eat for the rest of my life then. I did eat like 2 bites when I was 20, I was attacked for a day, but that's that. Maybe what I felt was just a side effect of what happened then.

So back to my story without a voice, people in the house are having hard time to hear me, usually I choose to try to talk as loud as I could but not this time. I chose to talk less today. Which brings me to my wish during the early days of Ramadhan this year, try not to talk too much.

This is why I think that Allah has granted me my wish, just for a few days(I wouldn't want a permanent one tho). He gave me what I need, He knows that I need it for these few days. And perhaps starting today I'll learn to talk less. :) I don't see this as a bad thing, but somehow, Alhamdulillah I see it as a blessing in disguise..


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Crush

Met this Chinese guy. I like him. Like has crush on him. Liked him since the first time I saw him. He smiled at me last night. And today I went to the same place to see him. He did notice me, but somehow I'm scared I'll make him feel uncomfortable.

The best thing that happened to me in these few years? Someone smiled, and his smile made my day. Made me smile all the way. Making me happy the whole day.

Thank you Allah for giving me this feeling. Making me feel like a teenager. I am most grateful. I miss this feeling. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
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Hari Ini Dalam Sejarah

Hari ini benar2 hari dalam sejarah untuk hidup aku. Sejak pagi tadi agaknya, kalau tak silap aku.

Aku rasa aku hampir menemui apa yang aku cari. Terasa sayang, rindu dan sayu yang teramat sangat. Zutto-zutto. Aku harap perasaan ini akan berkekalan, akan bertambah mekar sehingga hujung nyawaku.

Pagi tadi terbaca satu gambar dekat facebook, dia yang mahu berubah ke arah kebaikan, Allah akan menemukan dia dengan orang2 yang baik(lebih kurang begitu lah, aku tak ingat sangat).

Permudahkanlah urusanku menujuMu. Bantulah aku. Semoga aku sentiasa mencintaiMu dan mendambakanMu.
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Closure

I think I've finally found my closure. It's obviously not a good deduction/reasoning for the person involved in that closure, but it helps, at least for me. Alhamdulillah. It made me feel better. I hope I can do better in life. O Allah, help me all the way. Ameen..
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This is me

I am mentally and emotionally disturbed right now. I am bitter. My words are like punches that hits you right in the nose. No words can save me. Just give me time to heal myself. Nobody can help me. Only me. And GOD.
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Menyesal

Ada rasa menyesal dalam hati aku sebab datang. :)



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On the BMT

I went to the BMT, organized by Human Resource Dept and Asian Institute of Management (AIM) Manila in KL from 9th to 13th April (today!).

It was a worthwhile experience. We had lecturers flying all the way from the Phillipines, Prof Frederico Gonzales, Prof Marvin Meduya and Prof Gulliver Go (he was also the Program Director). Wonderful professors! I am most grateful to them. You see, I have no background in Business, Finance, Accounting (well I did it when I was in lower form..basic accounting, that is...) But this course is a new beginning to me, to learn all those thing, learning to like all those field that never I imagined I'd be involved with, which is my field of work now. It's kinda an eye opener to me. They have this thick Phillipines accent, which made things hard for others (I think), but I'm kinda used to it, since I had Madagascar and French lecturer last time.

Prof Gulliver aka Gully was the most popular among everyone. Most girls (even moms!!) had crush on him (including me!)! hahahahaha!! He's the youngest, and he's cute. He's 41, he have 4 kids, the eldest is 19, the youngest is 1. But obviously he doesn't look 41.

Well, a crush is a crush and will be forgotten over time.

Having an eye candy during a difficult course has its own perk. But the most important thing was the experience, knowledge gained during those times. I hope to learn more about business plan in the future. Of course I'm not good with numbers and all but there must be something that I'm good at which I can do to help others.
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